I've just been feeling so ... alive lately! Really! More motivated than I have in years..since my Dad died. Dh said I went on autopilot, and I feel like I'm waking up from it. I've apologized to dd, but she says there's nothing to apologize for. I've worried over what I would have done diff these last five years differently for ds, but dh said autopilot or not I've done more than he would have thought to. I still wonder....
When Dad died, dd was 8 and ds was 5! I wonder if those VERY IMPORTANT years slipped by me..they went so very fast. But I've let it go because there's nothing I can do now and I did my best. I was just so...shocked when Dad died. My whole life was about making him proud. I don't think I realized HOW MUCH until he died.
Anyway, dh has been commenting on my bounciness lately. I'm laughing more, even when I'm worried. I used to take the kids " 'Splorin" - something dh and I used to do when we dated and were first married...taking unknown dirt roads or going somewhere you haven't been just to see it ... but we haven't really done much of that over the last few years.
Well, today we went 'Splorin!! There's a big lake you pass on the way to dd's Bible camp (she opted not to go this year) and I've always wanted to go to it and have a look around. So, I filled up the van with gas and away we went!!
Its beautiful!! Its a lake by a dam and it was quiet and peaceful and the day is just GORGEOUS!!! Blue skies....high 70s, low 80s..at least when we went around lunchtime. I sent a pic and text to dh "Pretty!" He texted back "You are pretty...where are YOU?" I texted him back a pic of me smiling and "Flatterer!"
On the way home we saw this HUGE perfectly triangular pile of sand and so I texted him a pic and "Look! We drove all the way to Egypt!" Mr. Literal texts back "What's with the pic of the sand auger??"
It was supposed to be a PYRAMID. Use your IMAGINATION! Geez. LOL
Anyway, we did that ... ate lunch... paid some bills...mailed the Netflix back...and visited the Library.
All in all, a good day so far!! I'm really happy lately in general and I just wanted to share!